tanaquiljall (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
tanaquiljall) wrote2012-02-21 09:52 am
tanaquiljall) wrote2012-02-21 09:52 am
Fic: Jericho - Fertile Ground - Teen - Part 2 of 2
Title: Fertile Ground
Fandom: Jericho
Rating: Teen
Contains: mutual dub-con, discussion of rape, mpreg
Words: 17,755 words
Summary: A sequel to If Y = X then...., set a few months after the end of S2. Jericho and Beck’s troops are holding out against a besieging force from the Allied States of America. A biological weapon sent by Cheyenne has resulted in Jake and Stanley finding themselves in female bodies. As Kenchy, the town's only doctor, looks for a way to turn them back, the change begins to have an effect on those around them.
Disclaimer: This story is based on the Junction Entertainment/Fixed Mark Productions/CBS Paramount Television series Jericho. It was written for entertainment only; the author does not profit from it nor was any infringement of copyright intended.
Author's Note: This story is part of the Genderswap!verse being written by Scribbler (![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
scribblesinink) and Tanaqui (tanaquific). Thanks to Scribbler (scribblesinink) for the beta. It was written for ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
mpregbb and the lovely art was created by the talented knowmefirst. You can see all the art at knowmefirst's masterpost.
Part One of "Fertile Ground"
Jake walked briskly toward the Med Center, heading for his regular weekly checkup with Kenchy. He nodded at the few people he passed, noticing most of them no longer stared at him—or his stomach—the way they had the first weeks after news of his pregnancy had spread. He was still a freak, but one they’d gotten used to.
Those first few weeks, though…. Jake winced at the memory. After he and Beck had decided what they were going to do about the baby, they’d sat down and figured out what they were going to do about everyone else. Jake had been oddly disconcerted at how well he and Beck had worked together as they’d developed their plans: Beck had been willing to listen and take advice, and made his own points through argument rather than by overruling Jake. Jake guessed the major had learned a few things about how to deal with other people during his weeks of working alongside Gray and Eric and Heather.
They’d agreed that letting the news trickle out and rumors develop—and a pregnancy wasn’t something you could hide forever—would only confuse and distract both the town and Beck’s soldiers from the task of resisting Cheyenne’s siege. It would be better to be upfront. They’d each start by telling those closest to them, and then a wider circle, and then, finally, everyone else. Jake had been the one to suggest the news should be broken to the troops by Mack Davies, the Texan colonel who’d accompanied Jake on his return to Jericho and who was now acting as liaison between Jericho and the Texan authorities. The soldiers seemed to respect him and the fact he outranked Beck, even if he wasn’t his commanding officer, would give some legitimacy to Beck’s continued leadership. When Beck had suggested, in turn, that Eric be the one to tell the town, if he was willing, Jake had puffed out a breath and agreed. He hadn’t been looking forward to standing up in front of everyone and telling them that not only had he been stupid enough to have unprotected sex while transformed into a woman but that it had been with Beck of all people.
Not that telling his family in the first place had been exactly easy or comfortable. He’d gathered his mom, Eric and Mary, along with Stanley and Mimi, at his mom’s house in town. As he’d stood in front of the fireplace, looking around at the ring of faces gazing up at him expectantly, he’d caught Stanley’s eye and received a nod of encouragement. Taking a deep breath and choking down his fear and embarrassment, he’d broken the news.
There was a long silence when he finished. He’d half-expected that kind of reaction after he’d made the first bald statement that he was pregnant. So he’d gone on talking, explaining the technicalities of how he was managing to carry the baby and his decision to keep it, giving the big news time to sink in. He suspected he’d have to explain some of the medical stuff again, later, when people were less shellshocked. But he hadn’t quite expected, when he’d finished, for his mom and Eric and Mary to simply sit there staring back up at him wordlessly.
He glanced across at Stanley and got another nod, letting him know that his friend was okay with the situation. Of course, none of this was really news to Stanley or Mimi, but he guessed they wanted to let his family speak first. Jake looked back at his mom. “Uh—.” He scrubbed a hand through his hair, unsure what else to say. Maybe he needed to go through it all again?
His mom lifted her gaze to his face. Then she took a deep breath and smiled at him: a forced smile, but a smile none the less. “Oh, honey.” She got to her feet and held out her arms to him. He stepped forward and let her hug him. To his surprise and relief, she held him close for a long time, and he slowly felt the tension go out of her. When she stepped back and looked up at him, her smile was genuine. “So I’m going to be a grandmother?”
Jake nodded. “I hope so. If everything goes okay.” He pulled her close again for another hug, unexpectedly touched by the genuine delight in her voice now she had, apparently, gotten over her shock. He wondered what he’d done to deserve so much love and forgiveness from her after all the hurt he’d caused her over the years.
“Hey, brother.” Eric had gotten to his feet as well, clapping a hand on his shoulder. “Not quite how I expected this kind of thing to go, but… congratulations.” His mother took a pace away, letting Eric embrace him.
“Thanks.” Over Eric’s shoulder, Jake caught Mary’s eye and the little dip of the head that said she was fine with it too, even if it was all a little strange.
When Eric stepped back, Jake put out a hand to keep him at his side. “There’s something else. I didn’t get pregnant all on my own. The father, the other father, knows and we decided that we should tell everyone. People are going to want to know and they’re going to gossip, so it’s best to make it all public.” He turned to look at Eric. “I was hoping to have your help with that.”
Eric hesitated, a twitch of his mouth betraying that the idea didn’t appeal to him. Jake couldn’t blame him for that. But, to his relief, Eric nodded his agreement. “Okay.” He raised his eyebrows. “So, who—?”
Jake swallowed hard, wishing yet again that there was some way this wasn’t the truth, that there was some other name he could give. His voice hoarse, he managed to get out, “Major Beck.”
There was another stunned silence for a moment and then Stanley leaped to his feet. “The bastard.” He took a stride toward Jake, his hands half raised and curled into fists. “After everything he did to this town? After everything he did to you? Now this? It wasn’t enough he had to torture you? He had to rape you as well?”
“Stanley.” Mimi was struggling to get to her feet, but Stanley had already turned and was heading for the door. Jake wasn’t exactly sure what he was planning to do, but he suspected it involved finding Beck and exacting revenge for whatever crimes he imagined Beck had committed.
“Stanley!” Jake hurried after him and caught his arm, swinging him round. “I told you before. It wasn’t like that.” He gave Stanley’s arm a squeeze, trying to reassure him, trying to convince him. “It was a mistake, but Beck didn’t do anything wrong.”
Stanley glared at Jake for a few seconds more, his expression mulish, before he slumped, the anger going out of him. “Yeah, well,” he muttered, “should’ve kept it in his pants.”
Jake huffed a wry laugh as he let go of Stanley. “Yeah, well, so should I.”
He turned back to his mother and brother, still grouped by the fireplace. He caught a look on his mom’s face that might be doubt or might be worry, he wasn’t sure which. Then her expression softened and she smiled one of her slow, warm smiles. “Well, if Major Beck is the father of my grandchild, I guess that makes him part of this family.” She tilted her head a little. “Maybe you should invite him for dinner.”
Jake laughed, as much with relief as amusement, and stepped forward and hugged her again. “Thanks, Mom.” Another thought struck him and he pulled back to look at her. “You know we’re… not a couple or anything like that, right?”
She laughed softly and patted his cheek. “I know. But he still has a place at our table. He’s family now. You—.”
“Wait a minute.” Jake turned at the interruption to see his brother rubbing the back of his neck, an irritated look on his face. “Did I hear right? You want me to be the one to tell the town you got yourself knocked up while you were Cheyenne’s science experiment by—what was it you said about him? Someone you couldn’t trust as far as you could spit and no one else should either? I’m the one who has to convince them you weren’t a complete idiot who was not only dumb enough to sleep with a guy while you were a woman but who also decided that if you were gonna screw around, to pick someone you can’t stand? Which, you know, complete idiot doesn’t even begin to cover it, in my book.”
“Umm.” Jake took a pace away from his mother and gave an apologetic shrug. He couldn’t deny the truth of what Eric was saying. “I was sort of hoping that if you told them, they’d accept it better. You know, if they knew you were okay with it….” He faltered at the expression on his brother’s face. “Which, I guess you’re not….”
“Eric, honey,” his mother started to protest gently.
Eric shook his head, cutting her off. “You still think nothing bad’s ever gonna happen to you, don’t you, Jake? That whatever you do will have no consequences.” His gaze dropped to Jake’s stomach. “Do you know how much harder you just made it to keep Jericho safe? People are gonna think what Stanley thought.” He stuck his hand out in Stanley’s direction. “They’re going to be mad at Beck. Beck’s troops are going to be mad at you and the town. Half the people out there are going to be scared something like this could happen to them, after we put all that effort into keeping this quiet. They’re—.”
“I know.” Jake spoke quietly, and perhaps it was the very way he didn’t try to argue back that silenced Eric. He dipped his head in his brother’s direction. “You’re right. I did something stupid and now the town’s going to pay for it. That’s why I wanted your help. To tell people properly. Look, I’m sorry I put you in this position and I can understand if you don’t—.”
“Oh for Pete’s sake!” Eric let out an exasperated sigh. “Of course I’m going to help. Just—don’t blame me if it all goes wrong. This is not like trying to find an excuse for setting fire to Dad’s office carpet!”
As Jake climbed the steps to the Med Center two months later, he recalled how it had taken a moment for him to wrap his head around his brother’s sudden change of heart and mood. Then he’d snorted with laughter at the comparison. “Thanks, bro.” He’d held out his hand. As Eric had clasped it and pulled him closer for a half hug, Jake had thought with wry amusement that his brother was growing more and more like Dad every day. Jake could have expected the same kind of tongue-lashing followed by the same kind of unconditional support from Dad. And that he didn’t mind at all that Eric was turning out that way.
Beck hurried across the Med Center parking lot, wondering if he was late. But no, there was Jake, just starting up the steps. Beck had to call his name twice, though, before he looked up and paused to allow Beck to catch up with him.
“Everything okay?” Beck asked as he reached Jake’s side.
“Uh-huh.” Jake gave Beck a slightly distracted nod, confirming Beck’s impression that he’d been deep in thought, and held the door open for him. As he let the door swing closed behind them and they set off up the hall towards the treatment rooms, he gave Beck an odd look and added, “I can go see Kenchy on my own, you know. You don’t have to come along every time.”
“I know.” Seeing Jake’s frown deepen, Beck added hastily, “If you’d rather I didn’t….”
Jake strode along for a few more paces before he shot Beck another sideways look and shrugged. “No. It’s okay. It’s just, if you don’t want to—.”
“Jake.” Beck put a hand on the other man’s arm, lightly but enough to make him stop and turn. “I want to be here. This is my baby, too, and my responsibility. I want to support you. In whatever way you need me to.”
“Okay.” Jake still seemed doubtful. Then the corner of his mouth lifted in a crooked grin. He jerked his head down the hall. “Come on. Kenchy’s gonna be waiting.”
Following Jake as he headed off with a spring in his step, Beck allowed himself a half smile. He was glad Jake didn’t mind him being around, after all that had happened between them. In fact, he was rather sorry they couldn’t spend more time together. He’d discovered, when Mrs Green had invited him to dinner, that Jake could be good company when he wasn’t angry, grief-stricken or bent on revenge. Though he’d already known that, hadn’t he? There’d been that brief time, just after Jake had accepted the role of Sheriff and before Constantino and Goetz had conspired to put them at loggerheads, when Beck had seen that side of Jake. It had been good to see it again.
Still, Beck thought regretfully, as he greeted Kenchy and then stepped out of the way so Kenchy could examine Jake, it was best to confine their contacts to these clinic visits and to the normal business of keeping them all safe from the ASA troops that still encircled them. They’d had a hard enough time as it was trying to get the troops to accept what had happened and to be comfortable with it: while no one had said anything to his face, Beck was aware there’d been plenty of speculation around the camp over the past few weeks about whether this meant their commanding officer really liked guys and what did that mean. Best not to add fuel to the fire.
Even his officers had been initially uncertain after Colonel Davies had broken the news. When, mustache bristling, the colonel had ended his explanation with, “Any questions?”, there’d been a long silence during which the officers had looked at each other. Then Lieutenant Hammond had gotten to his feet.
“Sir? Permission to speak freely?”
“Permission granted.” Davies had dipped his head.
“Sir. Are you saying that when Major Beck, that when—?” Hammond had shot a look toward Beck, where he stood to one side of the room. “That the major just… forgot? That… Mr Green wasn’t really a girl.”
“Hell, Hammond.” Lieutenant McCoy spoke up before Davies could reply. "I forgot half the time I was talking to him. He made a damn convincing woman.” McCoy also glanced over at Beck, before adding with a quirk of the brows. “Pretty good looking one too.” Apparently catching a look of disbelief not only on Hammond’s face but on the faces of some of the other officers, she spread her hands. “Hey, I’m not saying I don’t prefer the male version myself, but if I looked like Jake Green did as a woman, I wouldn’t be complaining. And neither would any of you guys.” She sat back in her chair and crossed her arms, glaring at Hammond and daring him to argue back.
Beck had felt a rush of gratitude, smiling his thanks at her even as he’d stepped forward to confess that yes, he had forgotten, they both had. That placing themselves in a position where an event like this could happen was inexcusable. That—.
“Major?” Kenchy, wheeling the ultrasound cart over to where Jake sat on the gurney, pulled Beck away from memories that were still painful to recall.
He moved to where he’d be able to see the screen, while Jake pulled his hoodie and T-shirt over his head and lay back on the gurney. Glancing across, Beck was startled to see how much Jake had thickened around the middle even in the two weeks since the last scan. He found himself unable to look away from the distinct bump as Kenchy began smearing gel over it.
“Ow.” Jake flinched.
“Cold?” Kenchy asked absently as he finished applying the gel and reached for the scanner. “Sorry.”
Jake shook his head. “No. Baby’s kicking.” He grimaced again. “Seems pretty restless today.” He’d mentioned he’d started feeling the baby move at the last appointment but one. But both then and the next time, he’d said it wasn’t really moving around right at the moment. Kenchy had suggested it was probably sleeping. Today, however, it seemed, the baby was awake.
Beck took a step forward. “May I—?” He left the question unfinished, not wanting to put any pressure on Jake, not wanting to assume that he had any right to touch him just because the two of them had once shared a few hours of intimacy. But wanting badly, so very badly, to feel the flutter of life under his hand.
Jake turned from looking at the screen and met Beck’s gaze. Beck held his breath, willing Jake to say yes, surprised by the strength of his own feelings. In the past two months, ever since he’d found out about the baby, he’d tried to remain detached. Tried to remember it was Jake’s baby more than his. That it wasn’t a replacement for the daughter he’d lost. That he would likely only be a small part of the child’s life, and maybe that would be for the best, given the way he’d failed Isa. And yet he wanted—.
“Good, strong heartbeat.” Kenchy’s unexpected interruption made Jake swing his head back to look at the screen again, leaving the question unanswered. Beck guessed he was glad of the doctor’s intervention, spared the awkwardness of having to say no, though Kenchy had sounded like he was speaking half to himself, apparently unaware of the exchange between the other two men.
Squashing down his disappointment, Beck transferred his own attention back to the screen, where a rapidly pulsing area that he knew from previous scans was the baby’s heart was clearly visible among the mostly indistinct black and gray and white shapes. Kenchy shifted the scanner, changing the image. “See, there’s an arm and—whoa, he is a lively one, isn’t he?” Beck didn’t need Kenchy to explain that the long white blob moving jerkily on the screen was a small leg flailing about.
Jake chuckled. “Told you!”
Kenchy was still moving the scanner, still engaged in checking the baby over. “Guess this must be all old hat to you, eh, Major?”
“What?” Beck looked across at him in surprise, before he remembered that he’d previously told Kenchy he’d already had a child, when the doctor had quizzed him about his own medical history. He guessed he’d buried the memory of that conversation because it had also involved explaining the still raw news that both his daughter and his wife were now dead. Kenchy had most likely forgotten that part: Alondra and Isa were just two more statistics to him, and he had living patients to worry about.
Kenchy confirmed what Beck was thinking when he simply shrugged and, with a wave of his hand at the ultrasound screen, elaborated, “You must have seen all this before?”
“Not really, no.” Beck tried not to sound too curt as he turned his attention back to the screen. The baby was still wriggling, but—Beck leaned a leaned a little closer to get a better view—was it… was it sucking its thumb in there? He stared at the screen, caught between fascination and awe as he watched the baby, suddenly real in a way it hadn’t quite been before. He added absently, “I was in Somalia most of the time my wife was pregnant with my daughter.” He went on examining the images, not really noticing the silence that had settled on the room at his words.
At last Kenchy finished the examination, declaring everything seemed to be progressing satisfactorily, and handed Jake a paper towel to clean himself up. Beck stepped back to give Kenchy room to wheel the cart away, but Jake caught his arm, stopping him from moving further off. He looked for a moment like he was going to say something, and then simply shook his head. A moment later, he had pulled Beck’s hand down onto his stomach. “Here.”
Beck almost snatched his hand back, startled by the gesture. He’d assumed his chance had gone after Kenchy had cut short their conversation earlier. But now…. Blinking against a sudden stinging behind his eyes, he breathed in deeply, forcing himself to relax as he spread his fingers and pressed his palm against Jake’s skin, trying to feel whatever it was Jake was feeling.
“There?” Jake arched his eyebrows.
Beck shook his head. “I don’t—.”
“It can take a while longer to feel it from the outside.” Kenchy offered from the other side of the room, sounding a little impatient but not unkind. “Now, time for some more blood. I’m afraid.” He lifted the tray with the needle and vial he was holding, to emphasize the point.
“Maybe next week?” Jake suggested to Beck, with a conciliatory smile, as Beck took his hand away. He sat up, swinging his legs over the side of the gurney, and then swayed, making a grab for Beck’s shoulder to steady himself. “Wow. Little dizzy there.”
“Postural hypotension.” Kenchy set the tray down next to Jake and took his arm. He went on talking as he swabbed Jake’s arm, inserted a needle into a vein and began drawing the blood. “Your cardiovascular system takes longer to react now, so you can get a little dizzy if you move too quickly. But your blood pressure was well within normal range, so as long as you don’t overdo things, you should be fine. There.” He removed the needle and covered the puncture wound with another cotton-wool ball.
Jake, used to the procedure, automatically put his fingers over the swab to hold it in place. “Are we done?”
Kenchy glanced up at him as he screwed the top on the sample bottle. “For now, yes. Gentlemen.” With a nod in their direction, he bustled out of the room, taking the sample with him.
“Great!” Jake dropped the swab in the tray Kenchy had left behind and began pulling his clothes back on. “I’m due on patrol in an hour and I need to grab something to eat at Bailey’s first.”
Beck, who’d half turned his back on Jake as he dressed, swung back again. He hadn’t realized Jake was still going out on night-time patrols with the Rangers. “Should you still be doing that?” Though the patrols didn’t run into trouble very often—neither side had enough troops to exert complete control over the area—there had been at least a handful of incidents where they’d tangled with the ASA.
“What?” The question was muffled as Jake dragged his hoodie back on. “Eating at Bailey’s?”
“No. Going on patrol.” Without noticing what he was doing, Beck clasped his hands in front of him and tilted his head slightly, giving Jake a concerned smile.
Jake lifted his gaze to meet Beck’s and froze, one hand still raised to flatten down his hair, which had gotten mussed up while he was dressing. Then he carefully and deliberately completed the gesture. “Why shouldn’t I?”
“Well….” Beck cleared his throat. “In your condition….” He gestured toward Jake’s stomach.
Again, Jake paused for a moment, before grabbing his jacket and sliding off the gurney. “I’m pregnant. I’m not sick.” His tone carried a clear warning that Beck should leave well alone. But after the way Jake had almost passed out a few moments back, Beck didn’t care what Jake thought he should do. He reached out and grabbed Jake’s arm as the other man made to stalk past him.
“Yes, I know. But if you’re getting dizzy, maybe you should—.”
“Maybe you should just mind your own damn business.” Jake wrenched his arm out of Beck’s grip.
“Jake, I…,”
Beck didn’t get a chance to remonstrate further. Jake spun around to face him, his eyes glittering with anger. “What? You think me carrying your baby makes me some kind of delicate little flower? That I need wrapping up in cotton wool for the duration? You wouldn’t be treating me like this if I was a woman, would you?”
“Yes. I would.” Beck took a step forward, feeling his own temper rise and trying to keep it in check. He’d forgotten how difficult dealing with Jake could be. How frustrating. “If you were under my command and I found out you were pregnant, it would be standard operating procedure to arrange for you to be transferred to duties suited to your physical condition. If—.”
Jake didn’t let him finish. “Well I’m not under your command,” he spat. “Thank God. So you can keep your rules and regulations to yourself and let me get on with looking after my town and my baby.” Not waiting for a reply, he turned on his heel and strode out of the room. Beck was almost surprised when he didn’t slam the door behind him.
Taking a deep breath, Beck pinched the bridge of his nose. He guessed he could have handled that a little better. Maybe he should have talked to Eric instead, asked him to be the one to suggest the change of assignment to Jake. Or Kenchy. No, Eric first. But he should probably leave it a day or two, give Jake some time to calm down.
Settling his cap on his head, Beck headed out into the hall. He hadn’t really expected having a child with Jake to be all plain sailing, had he?
Jake thought about that conversation a few weeks later as, keeping his head low, he scurried along a muddy ditch that ran down one side of a field rotten with sharp-edged grasses and straggling weeds. Somewhere to his right and a little to the rear, he could hear the clatter of a helicopter patrolling the no-man’s land that lay between Beck’s ring of troops protecting the main routes into Jericho and the net of patrols and checkpoints that Hoffman had set up to circle the town. The helicopter’s searchlight would no doubt be sweeping the ground below, looking for movement in the rain-sodden fields.
Right behind him, Carl was almost treading on his heels. Jake heard him mutter, “Come on, man, move it.” but he was too breathless to reply.
At last, after what seemed like an eternity of running, they reached the shelter of a stand of trees. Jake sank to his knees, his hands on his thighs, sucking in air.
Chavez, who’d been bringing up the rear of the group of four, knelt down in front of him. “You okay, man?” He held out a canteen but Jake waved it away. He’d only have to pee. Again.
“Just need to catch my breath.” He dragged in another deep breath and hitched a laugh. “Guess I’m not as fit as I was.”
Chavez stowed the canteen away. “Uh-huh. Carrying an extra ten pounds’ll do that.” Jake sensed him turning to Carl and Gary, who were crouched nearby. “We’ll take five.”
“I’m okay.” Jake started to struggle to his feet, but Chavez’s hand on his shoulder stopped him.
“No, you’re not.” Chavez gave his shoulder a squeeze. “Look, we’ve got another dash like that one and then we’ll be back into the woods for a while and we can take it easy for a mile or so. But we can’t have you getting a side stitch or having a dizzy spell halfway across the next field.”
Jake pressed his lips together, resisting the urge to protest that he was fine. But he could feel his heart racing, and his chest was still tight. Reluctantly, he gave Chavez a nod. “Okay.”
Settling himself back against a tree, he curved his hands over his stomach. It had gotten noticeably larger in the last month: Chavez had been pretty much spot on about the extra ten pounds. “Guess Beck was right,” Jake muttered half to himself.
“How’s that?” Chavez was checking the contents of his pack, probably making sure the map and notebook in which they’d marked down the details of the smaller ASA checkpoints they’d been surveying was still well-wrapped against the night’s persistent light drizzle. He sounded amused. Jake guessed he had a point: it wasn’t often he and Beck agreed on much, even now.
“Said I wasn’t fit enough to go on patrol.” Beck hadn’t mentioned it again since they’d argued about it at the clinic almost a month ago, though the way he looked at Jake every time the patrols were discussed made it clear he hadn’t forgotten or changed his mind.
“Uh-huh.” Chavez snapped the clasps closed on his rucksack. “You know, I heard they could really do with someone who knows the area better than Darcy Hawkins and Mimi Clark to man the radio at City Hall.”
Jake lifted his head and gave Chavez a sharp look, though he couldn’t see much in the gloom. “You’ve all talked about this between you, haven’t you?”
“It was just a matter of time, Jake.” Chavez sounded unrepentant. “And they do need someone.” He got up and held out his hand. “Come on. Time to move on.”
With a snort, Jake accepted Chavez’s hand and let the other man pull him to his feet. Chavez was right. It was time to move on. Time to accept that having this baby, taking care of it, would mean he had to start thinking about things differently.
Following Carl and Gary through the trees, with Chavez just behind him, he realized he’d thought he was ready to be a father, that he’d understood what that meant, but he hadn’t. Not really. It meant putting someone else first, always. It meant accepting there were certain things you couldn’t do any more. It meant doing the best you could to help someone grow up and grow right and stand on their own two feet.
Jake snorted quietly to himself. And it probably meant being put through the kind of heartbreak and trouble he’d caused his own father. Preparing to dash across the next field, he decided that if he could do half as good a job as Dad had done, he’d have done okay.
Beck tried to ignore the headache that had crept up on him during a meeting with Eric that had seemed to last forever. It had, he found, apparently lasted quite long enough for the main office in the Sheriff’s department to be transformed by the time he stepped back out into it. Christmas decorations—mostly slightly battered looking paper chains—had been strung along the front of the reception desk and around the windows and doors. Even the radio Jake had been manning when Beck had gone in to see Eric now carried a strand of tattered tinsel twined across the top of it.
Despite the poverty of the decorations, there was something about the effort that made Beck smile. He should talk to Heather about doing something out at the camp: Christmas decorations hadn’t exactly been on the list of supplies he and his men had brought with them back in the spring.
Jake was now standing in the middle of the main office, wrapping a scarf around his neck and pulling on his coat. He’d been busy with a call when Beck had come in, so they hadn’t spoken. But it looked like he’d just finished his shift: Darcy Hawkins had taken his place on the stool.
“Jake. Darcy.” Beck nodded at them both, before turning to Jake. “How are you doing?” He’d missed Jake’s last appointment at the clinic: the uneasy stalemate with Hoffman’s troops had been temporarily broken when one of Dale’s smuggling teams had run into an ASA patrol. Beck hadn’t felt able to leave the camp until he was sure the situation had fully calmed down and the ASA wouldn’t take it as an excuse to launch an attack.
“I’m fine. Kenchy said everything’s normal. Well,” Jake huffed a laugh, “as normal as can be.” He rested his hands on his stomach for a moment, drawing Beck’s attention there.
The bump was quite noticeable now, even under the thick sweater Jake wore. This time next year, Beck thought wonderingly, he wouldn’t be worrying about Christmas decorations for the camp but about how he was going to celebrate Christmas with the baby….
Assuming, there is a baby, a dark little voice in his head reminded him. Assuming we’re all still alive. He drew in a sharp breath, clamping down on the thought. No! he told himself firmly. We’ve gotten this far. God wants this baby to be. He smiled to himself. I want this baby to be.
Coming out of his thoughts, he realized Jake was still talking. “Darcy was suggesting I try some lemon balm tea to help me sleep.”
Darcy nodded in confirmation. “Worked with my two and we had some growing in our garden.” She chuckled. “I didn’t know a thing about growing herbs when I moved here, but Mrs Frederickson ran some classes in the summer and helped me figure out what we had.”
Beck crinkled his eyes at her. “I think we’ve all learned a thing or two this year.”
Jake snorted quietly as he finished zipping up his coat. “One or two.” He sounded wryly amused.
Beck turned back to him. “Are you heading back to the ranch?” He was remembering the sharp wind that had chased him into City Hall earlier, along with a scattering of snowflakes
“Uh-huh.” Jake stifled a yawn as he pulled his gloves out of his coat pocket. “Don’t think I’ll have trouble sleeping tonight, though.”
“I’ll have my driver run you out there.” The offer was out of Beck’s mouth before he had a chance to think about it, but he didn’t regret it. Jake would be chilled and exhausted by the time he’d walked home.
Jake hesitated. “I don’t want to put you out.”
Beck looked away. “You’re not,” he lied, his voice gruff. “I was planning a visit to the checkpoint out on Route 6. So it’s on my way.” Well, it was true he’d been planning to swing by one of the checkpoints on his way back to camp. Just not that particular one.
Jake hesitated again before he nodded. “Okay. Thanks.”
Once they got outside into the parking lot at the rear of City Hall, Beck hurried ahead of Jake. The wind was even crueler than it had been earlier as he crossed to where his humvee was parked. “Corporal.” He nodded at the driver, who'd gotten out of the cab where he’d been sheltering. “I’m going to be visiting Checkpoint Zero. We’ll be dropping Mr Green off at his home on the way.”
The corporal’s gaze slid over Beck’s shoulder to where Jake was approaching more slowly. “Yes, sir.” Though the response was correct enough, Beck thought he caught a hint of an amused smile on the corporal’s face as he turned away to open the rear door of the humvee so Jake could climb in.
As Beck made his way around to the front passenger seat, he realized the corporal’s response was not entirely what he’d been expecting. He’d become used to the troops covertly staring at him or answering him stiffly while on duty, and breaking off their conversations to watch him as he passed while they were off-duty. He couldn’t blame them for that: he’d created a confusing and upsetting situation. Yet sometime in the last month, things had changed. Whatever indiscretions Beck had committed, it seemed his men trusted him again. The situation might still be more than a little weird but it was also now… normal.
Something had changed within himself as well, he saw, sliding into his seat and turning round to make sure Jake was settled safely in the back. The baby was no longer a terrible mistake he needed to atone for. Nor did he feel, as he had done for a while, that it was the universe mocking him for the loss of his wife and daughter by offering some kind of false replacement. It was just a baby: a child that needed to be loved and cared for. He remembered that moment in the Med Center when he’d seen it sucking its thumb on the ultrasound screen, and he imagined himself in a few months’ time, leaning over a crib and watching it sleep, thumb tucked in its mouth.
The humvee moved off with a jolt. No, Beck thought, facing forward again, this baby wasn’t a mistake at all.
Gail took another look around the living room, checking everything was in place for Jake’s arrival. Maybe…? She nudged the recliner an inch sideways. There! Now it would be in the perfect position in front of the fire for him to put his feet up and keep warm.
She plumped up the cushion again. It would be nice to have one of her boys back home to look after. The house had been too quiet since Emily had moved back to her place in The Pines. And it really wasn’t safe for Jake to be living out at the ranch by himself in his condition. Though it had taken her long enough to persuade him to move back: there were less than two months left until he was due. Only persistent nagging and Kenchy’s support had persuaded him in the end. It was like he thought being pregnant was no big deal.
She felt a rush of irritation at him for getting himself in this mess—and at Major Beck having helped him get there. Hadn’t the man done enough damage already with the way he’d treated Jake after he’d arrested him? She didn’t think she’d ever forget her first sight of Jake slumped on the floor of the hog farm basement, his hands tied behind his back. It had been worse even that finding him half frozen and pinned under Stanley’s truck, because that had mostly been an accident. Whereas what had happened at the hog farm had been deliberate. If Major Beck—.
Gail took a deep breath. Major Beck was going to be the father of her grandchild, and that was what really mattered, wasn’t it? That was why, when Jake had first broken the news, she’d swallowed down her shock and anger and given Jake the support and approval he needed. And—.
A soft knocking at the door startled her from her thoughts, though she’d been waiting to hear it for the past half hour. She hurried to answer, a broad smile breaking out on her face.
“Hey, Mom.” Jake, loitering on the stoop, gave her a shy smile.
“Oh, honey.” She drew him into a hug made awkward by the bags he was carrying and the swell of his stomach. Pulling back to let him step inside, she peered over his shoulder. “You didn’t walk all the way?”
He shook his head as he set down his holdall by the foot of the stairs and lifted the strap of his messenger bag over his head. “No. Just from Main Street. One of Dale’s guys gave me a lift to City Hall on the milk cart.”
“You should have made him drop you here,” she admonished, helping him off with his coat.
“Mom, it’s not even ten minutes walk!” She could tell from his tone that he was rolling his eyes a little though his back was to her. He turned around and gave her a conciliatory smile. “Besides, I’m going to be doing it every day when I go to work.”
“Yes, well—.” She left the rest of the thought unspoken. That was another topic they’d already discussed numerous times and where Jake wouldn’t budge. She, meanwhile, was still firmly of the opinion that while it might be all very well for a healthy woman to go on working until a few weeks before her due date, the normal rules didn’t apply in Jake’s case. She’d had to settle for the fact that at least he wouldn’t be overexerting himself there, just manning the radio, and he’d be close to the clinic if anything did happen. She waved a hand toward the recliner. “Anyway, you’ll be wanting to put your feet up and have a little rest.”
He gave her an amused look, his mouth twitching up in a wry grin, but let her steer him to the chair. She hovered over him while he unlaced his boots. “You’re feeling okay?” Without really thinking about it, she reached out and put the back of her hand on his forehead, brushing his bangs away so she could take his temperature.
“I’m fine, Mom.” Lifting his head, he drew away from her as he eased back on to the recliner. He let out a sharp puff of breath. “Oof! Well, still getting a bit of back pain. But it’s been a lot better since I took your advice about sleeping on my side. Thanks.” He gave her a quick smile as he reached behind him to settle the cushion more comfortably in the small of his back.
“Good!” She tilted her head and took another look at him, narrowing her eyes. She’d had to drag the complaint about the back pain out of him, and only when she’d caught him stretching and wincing. “Anything else?”
“No. I told you. I’m fine.” He finished adjusting the cushion and looked up at her. He must have caught the skepticism in her expression because he hesitated and then added, his cheeks turning a little red, “Well, I’ve been sort of… itchy. On my stomach.” He gestured down at himself.
“Hmm.” Gail’s mind raced over the half dozen conditions that had that symptom. Fortunately, most of them weren’t serious. Still…. “Let me see?” When Jake seemed reluctant, she added gently, “I’m a nurse as well as your mom, you know. And I did have two children of my own.”
He chuckled. “I know.” With a shake of the head, he pulled up his sweater and T-shirt to expose his stomach.
Gail bent forward and ran her fingers lightly over his skin. His belly button had popped out and his bump looked more prominent than she’d expected, but she supposed it wasn’t anything out of the ordinary—apart from the whole thing being wrong, of course. He had a couple of stretch marks and his skin seemed a little flaky, but that was all. Straightening up, she gave him a reassuring smile. “Looks like your skin’s just a bit dry. I think I’ve got some moisturizer upstairs that’ll help, or I can ask around. Maybe some calamine lotion, if it’s really itchy.”
“I need a beauty regime for my stomach?” Jake gave an amused snort as he straightened his clothes.
She grinned at him. “Just be glad you won’t be wanting to get back into a bikini next summer.”
He laughed. “Well, there is that.” He glowered down at his hands resting on his stomach. “I still feel huge, though.”
She hid a smile. “You’ll get a whole lot huger. I remember the last few weeks carrying you, I felt like I needed an Oversize Load sign on my back.” She patted him on the shoulder. “Now, why don’t I make us a warm drink?”
“Mom.” He caught her hand as she was turning away and squeezed it gently. “I know I’m going to be a pain about all of this but… thanks. For everything.”
This time, she let the smile break out. This might all be wrong on so many levels, but a part of her wouldn’t have missed it for anything.
A few minutes later, as she was handing Jake his cup, there was another knock at the door: a firm, brisk tattoo. “Who on earth…?”
Putting her own cup down, she went to open the door—and found Major Beck outside.
“Mrs Green.” He dipped his head in greeting. “I heard from one of Dale’s men that he’d brought Jake in to town and I…. May I come in, ma’am?”
She hesitated for a moment and then stepped back, holding the door wider to let him in. “Of course.”
Once across the threshold, he must have caught sight of Jake. The two of them greeted each other as she was closing the door. Both of them sounded a little wary. She heard the major add hastily, “Oh, please don’t get up on my account.” Turning to face them, she saw he had a hand out to encourage Jake to remain where he was.
Apparently satisfied that Jake would stay seated, he turned back to her, holding out the box that had been tucked under his arm when he’d entered the house. “I brought these for Jake.” He tilted the box so she could see it held a dozen or so apples. “They were part of my rations but I don’t much like apples and I thought Jake could use them….”
From the way his gaze slid away from her as he offered the explanation, Gail suspected he liked apples just fine, but he’d wanted an excuse to make a present of them to Jake. She accepted the white lie and the box with a smile. “Thank you.” Whatever the man might have done in the past, he did seem keen to do the right thing now. And if she wanted her grandchild to know both its parents, she supposed she ought to try to make him welcome. Clearing her throat, she gestured to the cups sitting on the low table between the chairs drawn up close to the fire. “We were just having something to drink. Would you like to join us?”
“Please. I’d like that.” He inclined his head in her direction, his eyes crinkling in a smile.
“Then I’ll just….” She gestured toward the kitchen with the box of apples.
When she came back with another cup, she saw Beck had stationed himself in front of the fire, a little to one side, his hands clasped behind him. He and Jake were talking quietly, but even as she paused in the door for a moment to watch them, Jake let out a sharp cry of pain and made a grab for his calf.
“What is it?” Beck had dropped to his knees next to the recliner.
“Leg cramp.” Jake got the words out through gritted teeth. “Dammit.”
“Oh, honey—.” Gail hurried forward to help him, but Beck was faster.
“Here.” The major put his hand on Jake’s foot and helped him flex it, stretching out his muscles. By the time Gail had reached them and set down the cup of tea she’d been carrying, Jake was puffing out a breath and nodding that it was better.
“Don’t usually get them during day,” he confessed, as Beck went on gently manipulating his foot. “Been keeping me awake at nights the past week, though.”
“Pillow under your feet while you sleep,” Beck suggested, sounding a little distracted. “My wife got terrible leg cramps when she was having our daughter. Said it really helped. She wrote me it was just as well I wasn’t home when she was expecting: she had so many pillows in the bed, I would’ve needed to sleep on the couch.” His hands still on Jake’s foot, he added, “You should do some exercises as well. Stretches and rotations.” He showed Jake what he meant. Glancing up and apparently catching the look of disbelief on Jake’s face—one that Gail suspected was mirrored on her own—he muttered, sounding a little embarrassed, “I was on the track team at college.”
Jake held his gaze for a moment and then smiled and nodded. “I’ll try that. Thanks.”
Beck got to his feet, dusting off his hands, and accepted the cup Gail now held out to him. “Thank you, Mrs Green.”
Sitting down in a chair and picking up her own cup, Gail watched the two men as they went back to talking about the latest news about the ongoing war between Cheyenne and the Columbus-Texas alliance. She still didn’t entirely approve of the way either of her sons had chosen to live their lives. But, just as she’d come to see Mary wasn’t so terrible for Eric after all, she reckoned that if Jake had to choose someone to have a baby with like this, he could have done a lot worse than Major Beck.
The March wind plucked at Beck’s uniform as he squinted down the road at the column of troops approaching the checkpoint on Route 6. Even from this distance, he could make out the lone star on the flag fluttering from the leading humvee. The last of the ASA’s troops had withdrawn the week before, their numbers already depleted over the previous months as Cheyenne’s cause became more desperate. Beck’s patrols had pushed out cautiously after them, as much in search of fuel and food as to confirm that the siege had finally been lifted. Everywhere, they found signs of hastily retreat and even a few deserters, who had quickly surrendered.
“Fine sight, ain’t it, Major?” A glance sideways showed Beck that Colonel Davies was grinning broadly at the sight of his compatriots. He had been in regular touch with the Texan troops for the past week as they slowly advanced north through Kansas.
“Yes, it is, Colonel.” Beck turned his eyes forward again as the lead humvee drew to a halt fifty yards away and an officer got out. “Yes it is.”
The officer from the Texan column approached and, coming to a halt a few paces away, saluted. “Colonel. Major. Captain Fox, 36th Infantry, Texas National Guard.”
Beck returned the salute. “Major Beck, Tenth Mountain Division, United States Army.”
The way he stressed the last three words wasn’t lost on the Texan captain. He gave the briefest of nods after he completed his salute that showed he understood Beck’s meaning: Texas, the Columbus government and Beck might all be on the same side, but Beck would only be taking orders from a chain of command headed by the legitimate president of the United Status.
The captain cleared his throat. “Sir. We are here to provide such assistance as the residents of the State of Kansas may require and request.”
Beck nodded. “The mayor’s waiting to speak to you, if you and your men would like to join us.” He gestured toward where Gray Anderson waited outside a tent that had been set up a hundred yards away on the town side of the checkpoint. As the captain turned and indicated to the column behind him to advance, Beck added, “Welcome to Jericho, Captain.”
Half an hour later, the preliminaries were over and they were seated around a table in the tent discussing what Jericho needed and what Texas could provide. Beck became aware, as Gray questioned Captain Fox about how soon fuel could be shipped in and how quickly they could be reconnected to the power grid, of a corporal entering the tent and speaking quietly to his aide-de-camp.
A moment later, the lieutenant bent next to Beck to whisper in his ear. “Sir. Sorry to interrupt. We’ve just had a message from City Hall. Dr Dhuwalia wanted to let you know that he’s concerned about a deterioration in Mr Green’s condition and has decided to operate today. He’s preparing Mr Green for surgery now.”
“What?” Beck swung round, the Texans and the conference forgotten. “Is Jake—?”
“I believe he’s fine at he moment, sir. It’s just a precautionary measure.” Despite his words, the lieutenant’s tone was anxious, though whether for Jake or his commanding officer, Beck didn’t know.
“I—.” Beck swung back to see the newly arrived Texans were looking at him with confusion and Gray and Davies with concern.
Then Gray nodded at him. “You should go, Major. I’m sure we can manage satisfactorily without you.”
Beck hesitated for a moment longer, until Davies also gave him a nod. Then he was on his feet with a hasty apology. As he made his way out of the tent, he heard Davies explaining, “Major Beck has developed some, ah, close ties with some of the townspeople….”
The news that Jake was going under the knife had apparently already spread through the detachment providing security at the talks. Half a dozen soldiers offered salutes and some variation of “Good luck, sir” and “I hope everything goes well, sir” on his way to the humvee, though Beck was too distracted to do more than nod in reply. He wanted Jake to be fine, and Kenchy was undoubtedly doing the right thing by moving up the cesarean, but he also wanted the baby to be fine. He wanted to be able to hold his child in his arms….
He was too choked up at the thought of what he might be about to lose to be able to give the order to his driver as he climbed into the humvee, so it was just as well the corporal seemed to understand the situation, putting the vehicle into gear and moving off as soon as Beck had slammed the door shut.
It still seemed like an eternity later, though it could only have been twenty minutes, before Beck was striding into the Medical Center. Even as he approached the reception desk, a nurse wordlessly pointed down the corridor. At the far end, Eric and Gail were hovering outside a treatment room that had been turned into an operating theater. Beck headed toward them, trying to suppress the fear clawing at his insides.
Eric hurried to meet him. “Jake had a dizzy spell and his blood pressure dropped, so Kenchy—.”
Beck nodded. His fear must have been evident in his face, because Eric gripped his arm and added, “It’ll be okay. Kenchy’s a good surgeon.”
“I know.” Beck could barely get the words out. He knew Kenchy was good. But the doctor was dealing with something no one had ever faced before. With a nod at Gail, Beck took up station outside the door alongside the two Greens.
After ten minutes, he began to pace.
Jake rose slowly into wakefulness, aware of people talking quietly nearby and the soft hum of machinery. Sluggishly, he forced open his eyes. “What…?”
“Hi, honey.” His mom’s face loomed into view as she leaned over him.. She brushed his bangs back from his forehead. “How are you feeling?”
Jake blinked at her, memory returning. “A bit woozy. How did…?”
He tried to sit up further but a hand on his shoulder pressed him back. “Just take it easy.” Kenchy, on the other side of the bed, went on looking at a monitor that, Jake supposed, showed his vitals, before he turned and gave Jake a nod. “Everything went well, but you’re going to need to take it slow and get lots of rest, okay?”
Jake nodded. He stopped trying to sit up and instead turned his head. “Where…?”
His mom took a pace back as, from beyond her, Beck said quietly, “She’s here.” His voice was filled with pride and happiness—and love. He stepped up to the bed and carefully transferred the bundle he’d been cradling against his shoulder into Jake’s hands.
Resting the bundle against his chest, Jake looked down at his daughter. She looked back up at him for a few seconds, before her unfocused gaze wandered away. She had dark hair and dark eyes and was rather red faced. “She’s beautiful,” he whispered.
“Yes, she is.” Beck reached out a finger and touched her cheek lightly.
“She’ll be due another feed in ten minutes or so.” Kenchy spoke briskly as he made sure the heart monitor on Jake’s finger was still in place. “Would you like to be the one to give her the bottle? If you feel up to it.”
“Please.” Jake couldn’t take his eyes off his daughter. She looked so small and yet felt so solid, so incredibly real, in a way she just hadn’t when she’d been inside him. He dragged his gaze away from her for a moment to look up at Beck. “If you don’t…?”
The other man shook his head. “I did the last feed. Your mom did the first one. So it’s definitely your turn.” He smiled at Jake, a real smile, without any of his usual reserve. Jake grinned back, before he turned back to looking at the baby.
“I’ll go get the bottle ready.” His mom bustled out of the room. A moment later, Kenchy followed.
The room grew quiet again. The baby yawned and then hiccuped. Jake went on staring down at her, feeling a rush of pride and love and protectiveness. He’d thought he’d understood that being a father meant things were different, but he hadn’t really, not until now. He hadn’t understood that his world had a new center. That he was going to make sure his daughter had everything she needed and that she’d grow up free and unafraid, and that she’d be able to be whoever and whatever she wanted to be. That nothing would ever hurt her, no matter what the world threw at them.
Beck cleared his throat. “I was thinking….”
Jake glanced up at him, pulled from his silent worship of his daughter. When Beck paused, he raised an eyebrow, inviting him to go on.
“…maybe we could call her Victoria?” Beck finished. He looked a little embarrassed, though whether by the suggestion itself or by his presumption in making it, Jake didn’t know.
“Victoria?” Jake tested the name on his tongue as he looked down at the baby. They hadn’t talked about names before. It had felt too much like tempting fate. Yes, he decided: she could be a Victoria. He nodded. “It’s a good name.”
“You see, it’s just,” Beck cleared his throat again, “the Texans arrived today, and Jericho’s officially free again, and after everything that Cheyenne did to us… to you….”
Jake’s mouth curled up in a crooked smile. “So she’s our little victory?” he teased gently, reaching out and letting the baby—Victoria—grab his finger.
“Something like that.” Another glance up showed Jake that Beck was definitely blushing now. “Anyway, things will be getting back to normal now….”
Jake, shifting Victoria so she was settled more comfortably in the crook of one arm, let out a laugh. “Not quite.” He indicated the baby with his newly free hand. “But I’m not complaining.”
Fandom: Jericho
Rating: Teen
Contains: mutual dub-con, discussion of rape, mpreg
Words: 17,755 words
Summary: A sequel to If Y = X then...., set a few months after the end of S2. Jericho and Beck’s troops are holding out against a besieging force from the Allied States of America. A biological weapon sent by Cheyenne has resulted in Jake and Stanley finding themselves in female bodies. As Kenchy, the town's only doctor, looks for a way to turn them back, the change begins to have an effect on those around them.
Disclaimer: This story is based on the Junction Entertainment/Fixed Mark Productions/CBS Paramount Television series Jericho. It was written for entertainment only; the author does not profit from it nor was any infringement of copyright intended.
Author's Note: This story is part of the Genderswap!verse being written by Scribbler (
scribblesinink) and Tanaqui (tanaquific). Thanks to Scribbler (scribblesinink) for the beta. It was written for mpregbb and the lovely art was created by the talented knowmefirst. You can see all the art at knowmefirst's masterpost.Part One of "Fertile Ground"
Jake walked briskly toward the Med Center, heading for his regular weekly checkup with Kenchy. He nodded at the few people he passed, noticing most of them no longer stared at him—or his stomach—the way they had the first weeks after news of his pregnancy had spread. He was still a freak, but one they’d gotten used to.
Those first few weeks, though…. Jake winced at the memory. After he and Beck had decided what they were going to do about the baby, they’d sat down and figured out what they were going to do about everyone else. Jake had been oddly disconcerted at how well he and Beck had worked together as they’d developed their plans: Beck had been willing to listen and take advice, and made his own points through argument rather than by overruling Jake. Jake guessed the major had learned a few things about how to deal with other people during his weeks of working alongside Gray and Eric and Heather.
They’d agreed that letting the news trickle out and rumors develop—and a pregnancy wasn’t something you could hide forever—would only confuse and distract both the town and Beck’s soldiers from the task of resisting Cheyenne’s siege. It would be better to be upfront. They’d each start by telling those closest to them, and then a wider circle, and then, finally, everyone else. Jake had been the one to suggest the news should be broken to the troops by Mack Davies, the Texan colonel who’d accompanied Jake on his return to Jericho and who was now acting as liaison between Jericho and the Texan authorities. The soldiers seemed to respect him and the fact he outranked Beck, even if he wasn’t his commanding officer, would give some legitimacy to Beck’s continued leadership. When Beck had suggested, in turn, that Eric be the one to tell the town, if he was willing, Jake had puffed out a breath and agreed. He hadn’t been looking forward to standing up in front of everyone and telling them that not only had he been stupid enough to have unprotected sex while transformed into a woman but that it had been with Beck of all people.
Not that telling his family in the first place had been exactly easy or comfortable. He’d gathered his mom, Eric and Mary, along with Stanley and Mimi, at his mom’s house in town. As he’d stood in front of the fireplace, looking around at the ring of faces gazing up at him expectantly, he’d caught Stanley’s eye and received a nod of encouragement. Taking a deep breath and choking down his fear and embarrassment, he’d broken the news.
There was a long silence when he finished. He’d half-expected that kind of reaction after he’d made the first bald statement that he was pregnant. So he’d gone on talking, explaining the technicalities of how he was managing to carry the baby and his decision to keep it, giving the big news time to sink in. He suspected he’d have to explain some of the medical stuff again, later, when people were less shellshocked. But he hadn’t quite expected, when he’d finished, for his mom and Eric and Mary to simply sit there staring back up at him wordlessly.
He glanced across at Stanley and got another nod, letting him know that his friend was okay with the situation. Of course, none of this was really news to Stanley or Mimi, but he guessed they wanted to let his family speak first. Jake looked back at his mom. “Uh—.” He scrubbed a hand through his hair, unsure what else to say. Maybe he needed to go through it all again?
His mom lifted her gaze to his face. Then she took a deep breath and smiled at him: a forced smile, but a smile none the less. “Oh, honey.” She got to her feet and held out her arms to him. He stepped forward and let her hug him. To his surprise and relief, she held him close for a long time, and he slowly felt the tension go out of her. When she stepped back and looked up at him, her smile was genuine. “So I’m going to be a grandmother?”
Jake nodded. “I hope so. If everything goes okay.” He pulled her close again for another hug, unexpectedly touched by the genuine delight in her voice now she had, apparently, gotten over her shock. He wondered what he’d done to deserve so much love and forgiveness from her after all the hurt he’d caused her over the years.
“Hey, brother.” Eric had gotten to his feet as well, clapping a hand on his shoulder. “Not quite how I expected this kind of thing to go, but… congratulations.” His mother took a pace away, letting Eric embrace him.
“Thanks.” Over Eric’s shoulder, Jake caught Mary’s eye and the little dip of the head that said she was fine with it too, even if it was all a little strange.
When Eric stepped back, Jake put out a hand to keep him at his side. “There’s something else. I didn’t get pregnant all on my own. The father, the other father, knows and we decided that we should tell everyone. People are going to want to know and they’re going to gossip, so it’s best to make it all public.” He turned to look at Eric. “I was hoping to have your help with that.”
Eric hesitated, a twitch of his mouth betraying that the idea didn’t appeal to him. Jake couldn’t blame him for that. But, to his relief, Eric nodded his agreement. “Okay.” He raised his eyebrows. “So, who—?”
Jake swallowed hard, wishing yet again that there was some way this wasn’t the truth, that there was some other name he could give. His voice hoarse, he managed to get out, “Major Beck.”
There was another stunned silence for a moment and then Stanley leaped to his feet. “The bastard.” He took a stride toward Jake, his hands half raised and curled into fists. “After everything he did to this town? After everything he did to you? Now this? It wasn’t enough he had to torture you? He had to rape you as well?”
“Stanley.” Mimi was struggling to get to her feet, but Stanley had already turned and was heading for the door. Jake wasn’t exactly sure what he was planning to do, but he suspected it involved finding Beck and exacting revenge for whatever crimes he imagined Beck had committed.
“Stanley!” Jake hurried after him and caught his arm, swinging him round. “I told you before. It wasn’t like that.” He gave Stanley’s arm a squeeze, trying to reassure him, trying to convince him. “It was a mistake, but Beck didn’t do anything wrong.”
Stanley glared at Jake for a few seconds more, his expression mulish, before he slumped, the anger going out of him. “Yeah, well,” he muttered, “should’ve kept it in his pants.”
Jake huffed a wry laugh as he let go of Stanley. “Yeah, well, so should I.”
He turned back to his mother and brother, still grouped by the fireplace. He caught a look on his mom’s face that might be doubt or might be worry, he wasn’t sure which. Then her expression softened and she smiled one of her slow, warm smiles. “Well, if Major Beck is the father of my grandchild, I guess that makes him part of this family.” She tilted her head a little. “Maybe you should invite him for dinner.”
Jake laughed, as much with relief as amusement, and stepped forward and hugged her again. “Thanks, Mom.” Another thought struck him and he pulled back to look at her. “You know we’re… not a couple or anything like that, right?”
She laughed softly and patted his cheek. “I know. But he still has a place at our table. He’s family now. You—.”
“Wait a minute.” Jake turned at the interruption to see his brother rubbing the back of his neck, an irritated look on his face. “Did I hear right? You want me to be the one to tell the town you got yourself knocked up while you were Cheyenne’s science experiment by—what was it you said about him? Someone you couldn’t trust as far as you could spit and no one else should either? I’m the one who has to convince them you weren’t a complete idiot who was not only dumb enough to sleep with a guy while you were a woman but who also decided that if you were gonna screw around, to pick someone you can’t stand? Which, you know, complete idiot doesn’t even begin to cover it, in my book.”
“Umm.” Jake took a pace away from his mother and gave an apologetic shrug. He couldn’t deny the truth of what Eric was saying. “I was sort of hoping that if you told them, they’d accept it better. You know, if they knew you were okay with it….” He faltered at the expression on his brother’s face. “Which, I guess you’re not….”
“Eric, honey,” his mother started to protest gently.
Eric shook his head, cutting her off. “You still think nothing bad’s ever gonna happen to you, don’t you, Jake? That whatever you do will have no consequences.” His gaze dropped to Jake’s stomach. “Do you know how much harder you just made it to keep Jericho safe? People are gonna think what Stanley thought.” He stuck his hand out in Stanley’s direction. “They’re going to be mad at Beck. Beck’s troops are going to be mad at you and the town. Half the people out there are going to be scared something like this could happen to them, after we put all that effort into keeping this quiet. They’re—.”
“I know.” Jake spoke quietly, and perhaps it was the very way he didn’t try to argue back that silenced Eric. He dipped his head in his brother’s direction. “You’re right. I did something stupid and now the town’s going to pay for it. That’s why I wanted your help. To tell people properly. Look, I’m sorry I put you in this position and I can understand if you don’t—.”
“Oh for Pete’s sake!” Eric let out an exasperated sigh. “Of course I’m going to help. Just—don’t blame me if it all goes wrong. This is not like trying to find an excuse for setting fire to Dad’s office carpet!”
As Jake climbed the steps to the Med Center two months later, he recalled how it had taken a moment for him to wrap his head around his brother’s sudden change of heart and mood. Then he’d snorted with laughter at the comparison. “Thanks, bro.” He’d held out his hand. As Eric had clasped it and pulled him closer for a half hug, Jake had thought with wry amusement that his brother was growing more and more like Dad every day. Jake could have expected the same kind of tongue-lashing followed by the same kind of unconditional support from Dad. And that he didn’t mind at all that Eric was turning out that way.
Beck hurried across the Med Center parking lot, wondering if he was late. But no, there was Jake, just starting up the steps. Beck had to call his name twice, though, before he looked up and paused to allow Beck to catch up with him.
“Everything okay?” Beck asked as he reached Jake’s side.
“Uh-huh.” Jake gave Beck a slightly distracted nod, confirming Beck’s impression that he’d been deep in thought, and held the door open for him. As he let the door swing closed behind them and they set off up the hall towards the treatment rooms, he gave Beck an odd look and added, “I can go see Kenchy on my own, you know. You don’t have to come along every time.”
“I know.” Seeing Jake’s frown deepen, Beck added hastily, “If you’d rather I didn’t….”
Jake strode along for a few more paces before he shot Beck another sideways look and shrugged. “No. It’s okay. It’s just, if you don’t want to—.”
“Jake.” Beck put a hand on the other man’s arm, lightly but enough to make him stop and turn. “I want to be here. This is my baby, too, and my responsibility. I want to support you. In whatever way you need me to.”
“Okay.” Jake still seemed doubtful. Then the corner of his mouth lifted in a crooked grin. He jerked his head down the hall. “Come on. Kenchy’s gonna be waiting.”
Following Jake as he headed off with a spring in his step, Beck allowed himself a half smile. He was glad Jake didn’t mind him being around, after all that had happened between them. In fact, he was rather sorry they couldn’t spend more time together. He’d discovered, when Mrs Green had invited him to dinner, that Jake could be good company when he wasn’t angry, grief-stricken or bent on revenge. Though he’d already known that, hadn’t he? There’d been that brief time, just after Jake had accepted the role of Sheriff and before Constantino and Goetz had conspired to put them at loggerheads, when Beck had seen that side of Jake. It had been good to see it again.
Still, Beck thought regretfully, as he greeted Kenchy and then stepped out of the way so Kenchy could examine Jake, it was best to confine their contacts to these clinic visits and to the normal business of keeping them all safe from the ASA troops that still encircled them. They’d had a hard enough time as it was trying to get the troops to accept what had happened and to be comfortable with it: while no one had said anything to his face, Beck was aware there’d been plenty of speculation around the camp over the past few weeks about whether this meant their commanding officer really liked guys and what did that mean. Best not to add fuel to the fire.
Even his officers had been initially uncertain after Colonel Davies had broken the news. When, mustache bristling, the colonel had ended his explanation with, “Any questions?”, there’d been a long silence during which the officers had looked at each other. Then Lieutenant Hammond had gotten to his feet.
“Sir? Permission to speak freely?”
“Permission granted.” Davies had dipped his head.
“Sir. Are you saying that when Major Beck, that when—?” Hammond had shot a look toward Beck, where he stood to one side of the room. “That the major just… forgot? That… Mr Green wasn’t really a girl.”
“Hell, Hammond.” Lieutenant McCoy spoke up before Davies could reply. "I forgot half the time I was talking to him. He made a damn convincing woman.” McCoy also glanced over at Beck, before adding with a quirk of the brows. “Pretty good looking one too.” Apparently catching a look of disbelief not only on Hammond’s face but on the faces of some of the other officers, she spread her hands. “Hey, I’m not saying I don’t prefer the male version myself, but if I looked like Jake Green did as a woman, I wouldn’t be complaining. And neither would any of you guys.” She sat back in her chair and crossed her arms, glaring at Hammond and daring him to argue back.
Beck had felt a rush of gratitude, smiling his thanks at her even as he’d stepped forward to confess that yes, he had forgotten, they both had. That placing themselves in a position where an event like this could happen was inexcusable. That—.
“Major?” Kenchy, wheeling the ultrasound cart over to where Jake sat on the gurney, pulled Beck away from memories that were still painful to recall.
He moved to where he’d be able to see the screen, while Jake pulled his hoodie and T-shirt over his head and lay back on the gurney. Glancing across, Beck was startled to see how much Jake had thickened around the middle even in the two weeks since the last scan. He found himself unable to look away from the distinct bump as Kenchy began smearing gel over it.
“Ow.” Jake flinched.
“Cold?” Kenchy asked absently as he finished applying the gel and reached for the scanner. “Sorry.”
Jake shook his head. “No. Baby’s kicking.” He grimaced again. “Seems pretty restless today.” He’d mentioned he’d started feeling the baby move at the last appointment but one. But both then and the next time, he’d said it wasn’t really moving around right at the moment. Kenchy had suggested it was probably sleeping. Today, however, it seemed, the baby was awake.
Beck took a step forward. “May I—?” He left the question unfinished, not wanting to put any pressure on Jake, not wanting to assume that he had any right to touch him just because the two of them had once shared a few hours of intimacy. But wanting badly, so very badly, to feel the flutter of life under his hand.
Jake turned from looking at the screen and met Beck’s gaze. Beck held his breath, willing Jake to say yes, surprised by the strength of his own feelings. In the past two months, ever since he’d found out about the baby, he’d tried to remain detached. Tried to remember it was Jake’s baby more than his. That it wasn’t a replacement for the daughter he’d lost. That he would likely only be a small part of the child’s life, and maybe that would be for the best, given the way he’d failed Isa. And yet he wanted—.
“Good, strong heartbeat.” Kenchy’s unexpected interruption made Jake swing his head back to look at the screen again, leaving the question unanswered. Beck guessed he was glad of the doctor’s intervention, spared the awkwardness of having to say no, though Kenchy had sounded like he was speaking half to himself, apparently unaware of the exchange between the other two men.
Squashing down his disappointment, Beck transferred his own attention back to the screen, where a rapidly pulsing area that he knew from previous scans was the baby’s heart was clearly visible among the mostly indistinct black and gray and white shapes. Kenchy shifted the scanner, changing the image. “See, there’s an arm and—whoa, he is a lively one, isn’t he?” Beck didn’t need Kenchy to explain that the long white blob moving jerkily on the screen was a small leg flailing about.
Jake chuckled. “Told you!”
Kenchy was still moving the scanner, still engaged in checking the baby over. “Guess this must be all old hat to you, eh, Major?”
“What?” Beck looked across at him in surprise, before he remembered that he’d previously told Kenchy he’d already had a child, when the doctor had quizzed him about his own medical history. He guessed he’d buried the memory of that conversation because it had also involved explaining the still raw news that both his daughter and his wife were now dead. Kenchy had most likely forgotten that part: Alondra and Isa were just two more statistics to him, and he had living patients to worry about.
Kenchy confirmed what Beck was thinking when he simply shrugged and, with a wave of his hand at the ultrasound screen, elaborated, “You must have seen all this before?”
“Not really, no.” Beck tried not to sound too curt as he turned his attention back to the screen. The baby was still wriggling, but—Beck leaned a leaned a little closer to get a better view—was it… was it sucking its thumb in there? He stared at the screen, caught between fascination and awe as he watched the baby, suddenly real in a way it hadn’t quite been before. He added absently, “I was in Somalia most of the time my wife was pregnant with my daughter.” He went on examining the images, not really noticing the silence that had settled on the room at his words.
At last Kenchy finished the examination, declaring everything seemed to be progressing satisfactorily, and handed Jake a paper towel to clean himself up. Beck stepped back to give Kenchy room to wheel the cart away, but Jake caught his arm, stopping him from moving further off. He looked for a moment like he was going to say something, and then simply shook his head. A moment later, he had pulled Beck’s hand down onto his stomach. “Here.”
Beck almost snatched his hand back, startled by the gesture. He’d assumed his chance had gone after Kenchy had cut short their conversation earlier. But now…. Blinking against a sudden stinging behind his eyes, he breathed in deeply, forcing himself to relax as he spread his fingers and pressed his palm against Jake’s skin, trying to feel whatever it was Jake was feeling.
“There?” Jake arched his eyebrows.
Beck shook his head. “I don’t—.”
“It can take a while longer to feel it from the outside.” Kenchy offered from the other side of the room, sounding a little impatient but not unkind. “Now, time for some more blood. I’m afraid.” He lifted the tray with the needle and vial he was holding, to emphasize the point.
“Maybe next week?” Jake suggested to Beck, with a conciliatory smile, as Beck took his hand away. He sat up, swinging his legs over the side of the gurney, and then swayed, making a grab for Beck’s shoulder to steady himself. “Wow. Little dizzy there.”
“Postural hypotension.” Kenchy set the tray down next to Jake and took his arm. He went on talking as he swabbed Jake’s arm, inserted a needle into a vein and began drawing the blood. “Your cardiovascular system takes longer to react now, so you can get a little dizzy if you move too quickly. But your blood pressure was well within normal range, so as long as you don’t overdo things, you should be fine. There.” He removed the needle and covered the puncture wound with another cotton-wool ball.
Jake, used to the procedure, automatically put his fingers over the swab to hold it in place. “Are we done?”
Kenchy glanced up at him as he screwed the top on the sample bottle. “For now, yes. Gentlemen.” With a nod in their direction, he bustled out of the room, taking the sample with him.
“Great!” Jake dropped the swab in the tray Kenchy had left behind and began pulling his clothes back on. “I’m due on patrol in an hour and I need to grab something to eat at Bailey’s first.”
Beck, who’d half turned his back on Jake as he dressed, swung back again. He hadn’t realized Jake was still going out on night-time patrols with the Rangers. “Should you still be doing that?” Though the patrols didn’t run into trouble very often—neither side had enough troops to exert complete control over the area—there had been at least a handful of incidents where they’d tangled with the ASA.
“What?” The question was muffled as Jake dragged his hoodie back on. “Eating at Bailey’s?”
“No. Going on patrol.” Without noticing what he was doing, Beck clasped his hands in front of him and tilted his head slightly, giving Jake a concerned smile.
Jake lifted his gaze to meet Beck’s and froze, one hand still raised to flatten down his hair, which had gotten mussed up while he was dressing. Then he carefully and deliberately completed the gesture. “Why shouldn’t I?”
“Well….” Beck cleared his throat. “In your condition….” He gestured toward Jake’s stomach.
Again, Jake paused for a moment, before grabbing his jacket and sliding off the gurney. “I’m pregnant. I’m not sick.” His tone carried a clear warning that Beck should leave well alone. But after the way Jake had almost passed out a few moments back, Beck didn’t care what Jake thought he should do. He reached out and grabbed Jake’s arm as the other man made to stalk past him.
“Yes, I know. But if you’re getting dizzy, maybe you should—.”
“Maybe you should just mind your own damn business.” Jake wrenched his arm out of Beck’s grip.
“Jake, I…,”
Beck didn’t get a chance to remonstrate further. Jake spun around to face him, his eyes glittering with anger. “What? You think me carrying your baby makes me some kind of delicate little flower? That I need wrapping up in cotton wool for the duration? You wouldn’t be treating me like this if I was a woman, would you?”
“Yes. I would.” Beck took a step forward, feeling his own temper rise and trying to keep it in check. He’d forgotten how difficult dealing with Jake could be. How frustrating. “If you were under my command and I found out you were pregnant, it would be standard operating procedure to arrange for you to be transferred to duties suited to your physical condition. If—.”
Jake didn’t let him finish. “Well I’m not under your command,” he spat. “Thank God. So you can keep your rules and regulations to yourself and let me get on with looking after my town and my baby.” Not waiting for a reply, he turned on his heel and strode out of the room. Beck was almost surprised when he didn’t slam the door behind him.
Taking a deep breath, Beck pinched the bridge of his nose. He guessed he could have handled that a little better. Maybe he should have talked to Eric instead, asked him to be the one to suggest the change of assignment to Jake. Or Kenchy. No, Eric first. But he should probably leave it a day or two, give Jake some time to calm down.
Settling his cap on his head, Beck headed out into the hall. He hadn’t really expected having a child with Jake to be all plain sailing, had he?
Jake thought about that conversation a few weeks later as, keeping his head low, he scurried along a muddy ditch that ran down one side of a field rotten with sharp-edged grasses and straggling weeds. Somewhere to his right and a little to the rear, he could hear the clatter of a helicopter patrolling the no-man’s land that lay between Beck’s ring of troops protecting the main routes into Jericho and the net of patrols and checkpoints that Hoffman had set up to circle the town. The helicopter’s searchlight would no doubt be sweeping the ground below, looking for movement in the rain-sodden fields.
Right behind him, Carl was almost treading on his heels. Jake heard him mutter, “Come on, man, move it.” but he was too breathless to reply.
At last, after what seemed like an eternity of running, they reached the shelter of a stand of trees. Jake sank to his knees, his hands on his thighs, sucking in air.
Chavez, who’d been bringing up the rear of the group of four, knelt down in front of him. “You okay, man?” He held out a canteen but Jake waved it away. He’d only have to pee. Again.
“Just need to catch my breath.” He dragged in another deep breath and hitched a laugh. “Guess I’m not as fit as I was.”
Chavez stowed the canteen away. “Uh-huh. Carrying an extra ten pounds’ll do that.” Jake sensed him turning to Carl and Gary, who were crouched nearby. “We’ll take five.”
“I’m okay.” Jake started to struggle to his feet, but Chavez’s hand on his shoulder stopped him.
“No, you’re not.” Chavez gave his shoulder a squeeze. “Look, we’ve got another dash like that one and then we’ll be back into the woods for a while and we can take it easy for a mile or so. But we can’t have you getting a side stitch or having a dizzy spell halfway across the next field.”
Jake pressed his lips together, resisting the urge to protest that he was fine. But he could feel his heart racing, and his chest was still tight. Reluctantly, he gave Chavez a nod. “Okay.”
Settling himself back against a tree, he curved his hands over his stomach. It had gotten noticeably larger in the last month: Chavez had been pretty much spot on about the extra ten pounds. “Guess Beck was right,” Jake muttered half to himself.
“How’s that?” Chavez was checking the contents of his pack, probably making sure the map and notebook in which they’d marked down the details of the smaller ASA checkpoints they’d been surveying was still well-wrapped against the night’s persistent light drizzle. He sounded amused. Jake guessed he had a point: it wasn’t often he and Beck agreed on much, even now.
“Said I wasn’t fit enough to go on patrol.” Beck hadn’t mentioned it again since they’d argued about it at the clinic almost a month ago, though the way he looked at Jake every time the patrols were discussed made it clear he hadn’t forgotten or changed his mind.
“Uh-huh.” Chavez snapped the clasps closed on his rucksack. “You know, I heard they could really do with someone who knows the area better than Darcy Hawkins and Mimi Clark to man the radio at City Hall.”
Jake lifted his head and gave Chavez a sharp look, though he couldn’t see much in the gloom. “You’ve all talked about this between you, haven’t you?”
“It was just a matter of time, Jake.” Chavez sounded unrepentant. “And they do need someone.” He got up and held out his hand. “Come on. Time to move on.”
With a snort, Jake accepted Chavez’s hand and let the other man pull him to his feet. Chavez was right. It was time to move on. Time to accept that having this baby, taking care of it, would mean he had to start thinking about things differently.
Following Carl and Gary through the trees, with Chavez just behind him, he realized he’d thought he was ready to be a father, that he’d understood what that meant, but he hadn’t. Not really. It meant putting someone else first, always. It meant accepting there were certain things you couldn’t do any more. It meant doing the best you could to help someone grow up and grow right and stand on their own two feet.
Jake snorted quietly to himself. And it probably meant being put through the kind of heartbreak and trouble he’d caused his own father. Preparing to dash across the next field, he decided that if he could do half as good a job as Dad had done, he’d have done okay.
Beck tried to ignore the headache that had crept up on him during a meeting with Eric that had seemed to last forever. It had, he found, apparently lasted quite long enough for the main office in the Sheriff’s department to be transformed by the time he stepped back out into it. Christmas decorations—mostly slightly battered looking paper chains—had been strung along the front of the reception desk and around the windows and doors. Even the radio Jake had been manning when Beck had gone in to see Eric now carried a strand of tattered tinsel twined across the top of it.
Despite the poverty of the decorations, there was something about the effort that made Beck smile. He should talk to Heather about doing something out at the camp: Christmas decorations hadn’t exactly been on the list of supplies he and his men had brought with them back in the spring.
Jake was now standing in the middle of the main office, wrapping a scarf around his neck and pulling on his coat. He’d been busy with a call when Beck had come in, so they hadn’t spoken. But it looked like he’d just finished his shift: Darcy Hawkins had taken his place on the stool.
“Jake. Darcy.” Beck nodded at them both, before turning to Jake. “How are you doing?” He’d missed Jake’s last appointment at the clinic: the uneasy stalemate with Hoffman’s troops had been temporarily broken when one of Dale’s smuggling teams had run into an ASA patrol. Beck hadn’t felt able to leave the camp until he was sure the situation had fully calmed down and the ASA wouldn’t take it as an excuse to launch an attack.
“I’m fine. Kenchy said everything’s normal. Well,” Jake huffed a laugh, “as normal as can be.” He rested his hands on his stomach for a moment, drawing Beck’s attention there.
The bump was quite noticeable now, even under the thick sweater Jake wore. This time next year, Beck thought wonderingly, he wouldn’t be worrying about Christmas decorations for the camp but about how he was going to celebrate Christmas with the baby….
Assuming, there is a baby, a dark little voice in his head reminded him. Assuming we’re all still alive. He drew in a sharp breath, clamping down on the thought. No! he told himself firmly. We’ve gotten this far. God wants this baby to be. He smiled to himself. I want this baby to be.
Coming out of his thoughts, he realized Jake was still talking. “Darcy was suggesting I try some lemon balm tea to help me sleep.”
Darcy nodded in confirmation. “Worked with my two and we had some growing in our garden.” She chuckled. “I didn’t know a thing about growing herbs when I moved here, but Mrs Frederickson ran some classes in the summer and helped me figure out what we had.”
Beck crinkled his eyes at her. “I think we’ve all learned a thing or two this year.”
Jake snorted quietly as he finished zipping up his coat. “One or two.” He sounded wryly amused.
Beck turned back to him. “Are you heading back to the ranch?” He was remembering the sharp wind that had chased him into City Hall earlier, along with a scattering of snowflakes
“Uh-huh.” Jake stifled a yawn as he pulled his gloves out of his coat pocket. “Don’t think I’ll have trouble sleeping tonight, though.”
“I’ll have my driver run you out there.” The offer was out of Beck’s mouth before he had a chance to think about it, but he didn’t regret it. Jake would be chilled and exhausted by the time he’d walked home.
Jake hesitated. “I don’t want to put you out.”
Beck looked away. “You’re not,” he lied, his voice gruff. “I was planning a visit to the checkpoint out on Route 6. So it’s on my way.” Well, it was true he’d been planning to swing by one of the checkpoints on his way back to camp. Just not that particular one.
Jake hesitated again before he nodded. “Okay. Thanks.”
Once they got outside into the parking lot at the rear of City Hall, Beck hurried ahead of Jake. The wind was even crueler than it had been earlier as he crossed to where his humvee was parked. “Corporal.” He nodded at the driver, who'd gotten out of the cab where he’d been sheltering. “I’m going to be visiting Checkpoint Zero. We’ll be dropping Mr Green off at his home on the way.”
The corporal’s gaze slid over Beck’s shoulder to where Jake was approaching more slowly. “Yes, sir.” Though the response was correct enough, Beck thought he caught a hint of an amused smile on the corporal’s face as he turned away to open the rear door of the humvee so Jake could climb in.
As Beck made his way around to the front passenger seat, he realized the corporal’s response was not entirely what he’d been expecting. He’d become used to the troops covertly staring at him or answering him stiffly while on duty, and breaking off their conversations to watch him as he passed while they were off-duty. He couldn’t blame them for that: he’d created a confusing and upsetting situation. Yet sometime in the last month, things had changed. Whatever indiscretions Beck had committed, it seemed his men trusted him again. The situation might still be more than a little weird but it was also now… normal.
Something had changed within himself as well, he saw, sliding into his seat and turning round to make sure Jake was settled safely in the back. The baby was no longer a terrible mistake he needed to atone for. Nor did he feel, as he had done for a while, that it was the universe mocking him for the loss of his wife and daughter by offering some kind of false replacement. It was just a baby: a child that needed to be loved and cared for. He remembered that moment in the Med Center when he’d seen it sucking its thumb on the ultrasound screen, and he imagined himself in a few months’ time, leaning over a crib and watching it sleep, thumb tucked in its mouth.
The humvee moved off with a jolt. No, Beck thought, facing forward again, this baby wasn’t a mistake at all.
Gail took another look around the living room, checking everything was in place for Jake’s arrival. Maybe…? She nudged the recliner an inch sideways. There! Now it would be in the perfect position in front of the fire for him to put his feet up and keep warm.
She plumped up the cushion again. It would be nice to have one of her boys back home to look after. The house had been too quiet since Emily had moved back to her place in The Pines. And it really wasn’t safe for Jake to be living out at the ranch by himself in his condition. Though it had taken her long enough to persuade him to move back: there were less than two months left until he was due. Only persistent nagging and Kenchy’s support had persuaded him in the end. It was like he thought being pregnant was no big deal.
She felt a rush of irritation at him for getting himself in this mess—and at Major Beck having helped him get there. Hadn’t the man done enough damage already with the way he’d treated Jake after he’d arrested him? She didn’t think she’d ever forget her first sight of Jake slumped on the floor of the hog farm basement, his hands tied behind his back. It had been worse even that finding him half frozen and pinned under Stanley’s truck, because that had mostly been an accident. Whereas what had happened at the hog farm had been deliberate. If Major Beck—.
Gail took a deep breath. Major Beck was going to be the father of her grandchild, and that was what really mattered, wasn’t it? That was why, when Jake had first broken the news, she’d swallowed down her shock and anger and given Jake the support and approval he needed. And—.
A soft knocking at the door startled her from her thoughts, though she’d been waiting to hear it for the past half hour. She hurried to answer, a broad smile breaking out on her face.
“Hey, Mom.” Jake, loitering on the stoop, gave her a shy smile.
“Oh, honey.” She drew him into a hug made awkward by the bags he was carrying and the swell of his stomach. Pulling back to let him step inside, she peered over his shoulder. “You didn’t walk all the way?”
He shook his head as he set down his holdall by the foot of the stairs and lifted the strap of his messenger bag over his head. “No. Just from Main Street. One of Dale’s guys gave me a lift to City Hall on the milk cart.”
“You should have made him drop you here,” she admonished, helping him off with his coat.
“Mom, it’s not even ten minutes walk!” She could tell from his tone that he was rolling his eyes a little though his back was to her. He turned around and gave her a conciliatory smile. “Besides, I’m going to be doing it every day when I go to work.”
“Yes, well—.” She left the rest of the thought unspoken. That was another topic they’d already discussed numerous times and where Jake wouldn’t budge. She, meanwhile, was still firmly of the opinion that while it might be all very well for a healthy woman to go on working until a few weeks before her due date, the normal rules didn’t apply in Jake’s case. She’d had to settle for the fact that at least he wouldn’t be overexerting himself there, just manning the radio, and he’d be close to the clinic if anything did happen. She waved a hand toward the recliner. “Anyway, you’ll be wanting to put your feet up and have a little rest.”
He gave her an amused look, his mouth twitching up in a wry grin, but let her steer him to the chair. She hovered over him while he unlaced his boots. “You’re feeling okay?” Without really thinking about it, she reached out and put the back of her hand on his forehead, brushing his bangs away so she could take his temperature.
“I’m fine, Mom.” Lifting his head, he drew away from her as he eased back on to the recliner. He let out a sharp puff of breath. “Oof! Well, still getting a bit of back pain. But it’s been a lot better since I took your advice about sleeping on my side. Thanks.” He gave her a quick smile as he reached behind him to settle the cushion more comfortably in the small of his back.
“Good!” She tilted her head and took another look at him, narrowing her eyes. She’d had to drag the complaint about the back pain out of him, and only when she’d caught him stretching and wincing. “Anything else?”
“No. I told you. I’m fine.” He finished adjusting the cushion and looked up at her. He must have caught the skepticism in her expression because he hesitated and then added, his cheeks turning a little red, “Well, I’ve been sort of… itchy. On my stomach.” He gestured down at himself.
“Hmm.” Gail’s mind raced over the half dozen conditions that had that symptom. Fortunately, most of them weren’t serious. Still…. “Let me see?” When Jake seemed reluctant, she added gently, “I’m a nurse as well as your mom, you know. And I did have two children of my own.”
He chuckled. “I know.” With a shake of the head, he pulled up his sweater and T-shirt to expose his stomach.
Gail bent forward and ran her fingers lightly over his skin. His belly button had popped out and his bump looked more prominent than she’d expected, but she supposed it wasn’t anything out of the ordinary—apart from the whole thing being wrong, of course. He had a couple of stretch marks and his skin seemed a little flaky, but that was all. Straightening up, she gave him a reassuring smile. “Looks like your skin’s just a bit dry. I think I’ve got some moisturizer upstairs that’ll help, or I can ask around. Maybe some calamine lotion, if it’s really itchy.”
“I need a beauty regime for my stomach?” Jake gave an amused snort as he straightened his clothes.
She grinned at him. “Just be glad you won’t be wanting to get back into a bikini next summer.”
He laughed. “Well, there is that.” He glowered down at his hands resting on his stomach. “I still feel huge, though.”
She hid a smile. “You’ll get a whole lot huger. I remember the last few weeks carrying you, I felt like I needed an Oversize Load sign on my back.” She patted him on the shoulder. “Now, why don’t I make us a warm drink?”
“Mom.” He caught her hand as she was turning away and squeezed it gently. “I know I’m going to be a pain about all of this but… thanks. For everything.”
This time, she let the smile break out. This might all be wrong on so many levels, but a part of her wouldn’t have missed it for anything.
A few minutes later, as she was handing Jake his cup, there was another knock at the door: a firm, brisk tattoo. “Who on earth…?”
Putting her own cup down, she went to open the door—and found Major Beck outside.
“Mrs Green.” He dipped his head in greeting. “I heard from one of Dale’s men that he’d brought Jake in to town and I…. May I come in, ma’am?”
She hesitated for a moment and then stepped back, holding the door wider to let him in. “Of course.”
Once across the threshold, he must have caught sight of Jake. The two of them greeted each other as she was closing the door. Both of them sounded a little wary. She heard the major add hastily, “Oh, please don’t get up on my account.” Turning to face them, she saw he had a hand out to encourage Jake to remain where he was.
Apparently satisfied that Jake would stay seated, he turned back to her, holding out the box that had been tucked under his arm when he’d entered the house. “I brought these for Jake.” He tilted the box so she could see it held a dozen or so apples. “They were part of my rations but I don’t much like apples and I thought Jake could use them….”
From the way his gaze slid away from her as he offered the explanation, Gail suspected he liked apples just fine, but he’d wanted an excuse to make a present of them to Jake. She accepted the white lie and the box with a smile. “Thank you.” Whatever the man might have done in the past, he did seem keen to do the right thing now. And if she wanted her grandchild to know both its parents, she supposed she ought to try to make him welcome. Clearing her throat, she gestured to the cups sitting on the low table between the chairs drawn up close to the fire. “We were just having something to drink. Would you like to join us?”
“Please. I’d like that.” He inclined his head in her direction, his eyes crinkling in a smile.
“Then I’ll just….” She gestured toward the kitchen with the box of apples.
When she came back with another cup, she saw Beck had stationed himself in front of the fire, a little to one side, his hands clasped behind him. He and Jake were talking quietly, but even as she paused in the door for a moment to watch them, Jake let out a sharp cry of pain and made a grab for his calf.
“What is it?” Beck had dropped to his knees next to the recliner.
“Leg cramp.” Jake got the words out through gritted teeth. “Dammit.”
“Oh, honey—.” Gail hurried forward to help him, but Beck was faster.
“Here.” The major put his hand on Jake’s foot and helped him flex it, stretching out his muscles. By the time Gail had reached them and set down the cup of tea she’d been carrying, Jake was puffing out a breath and nodding that it was better.
“Don’t usually get them during day,” he confessed, as Beck went on gently manipulating his foot. “Been keeping me awake at nights the past week, though.”
“Pillow under your feet while you sleep,” Beck suggested, sounding a little distracted. “My wife got terrible leg cramps when she was having our daughter. Said it really helped. She wrote me it was just as well I wasn’t home when she was expecting: she had so many pillows in the bed, I would’ve needed to sleep on the couch.” His hands still on Jake’s foot, he added, “You should do some exercises as well. Stretches and rotations.” He showed Jake what he meant. Glancing up and apparently catching the look of disbelief on Jake’s face—one that Gail suspected was mirrored on her own—he muttered, sounding a little embarrassed, “I was on the track team at college.”
Jake held his gaze for a moment and then smiled and nodded. “I’ll try that. Thanks.”
Beck got to his feet, dusting off his hands, and accepted the cup Gail now held out to him. “Thank you, Mrs Green.”
Sitting down in a chair and picking up her own cup, Gail watched the two men as they went back to talking about the latest news about the ongoing war between Cheyenne and the Columbus-Texas alliance. She still didn’t entirely approve of the way either of her sons had chosen to live their lives. But, just as she’d come to see Mary wasn’t so terrible for Eric after all, she reckoned that if Jake had to choose someone to have a baby with like this, he could have done a lot worse than Major Beck.
The March wind plucked at Beck’s uniform as he squinted down the road at the column of troops approaching the checkpoint on Route 6. Even from this distance, he could make out the lone star on the flag fluttering from the leading humvee. The last of the ASA’s troops had withdrawn the week before, their numbers already depleted over the previous months as Cheyenne’s cause became more desperate. Beck’s patrols had pushed out cautiously after them, as much in search of fuel and food as to confirm that the siege had finally been lifted. Everywhere, they found signs of hastily retreat and even a few deserters, who had quickly surrendered.
“Fine sight, ain’t it, Major?” A glance sideways showed Beck that Colonel Davies was grinning broadly at the sight of his compatriots. He had been in regular touch with the Texan troops for the past week as they slowly advanced north through Kansas.
“Yes, it is, Colonel.” Beck turned his eyes forward again as the lead humvee drew to a halt fifty yards away and an officer got out. “Yes it is.”
The officer from the Texan column approached and, coming to a halt a few paces away, saluted. “Colonel. Major. Captain Fox, 36th Infantry, Texas National Guard.”
Beck returned the salute. “Major Beck, Tenth Mountain Division, United States Army.”
The way he stressed the last three words wasn’t lost on the Texan captain. He gave the briefest of nods after he completed his salute that showed he understood Beck’s meaning: Texas, the Columbus government and Beck might all be on the same side, but Beck would only be taking orders from a chain of command headed by the legitimate president of the United Status.
The captain cleared his throat. “Sir. We are here to provide such assistance as the residents of the State of Kansas may require and request.”
Beck nodded. “The mayor’s waiting to speak to you, if you and your men would like to join us.” He gestured toward where Gray Anderson waited outside a tent that had been set up a hundred yards away on the town side of the checkpoint. As the captain turned and indicated to the column behind him to advance, Beck added, “Welcome to Jericho, Captain.”
Half an hour later, the preliminaries were over and they were seated around a table in the tent discussing what Jericho needed and what Texas could provide. Beck became aware, as Gray questioned Captain Fox about how soon fuel could be shipped in and how quickly they could be reconnected to the power grid, of a corporal entering the tent and speaking quietly to his aide-de-camp.
A moment later, the lieutenant bent next to Beck to whisper in his ear. “Sir. Sorry to interrupt. We’ve just had a message from City Hall. Dr Dhuwalia wanted to let you know that he’s concerned about a deterioration in Mr Green’s condition and has decided to operate today. He’s preparing Mr Green for surgery now.”
“What?” Beck swung round, the Texans and the conference forgotten. “Is Jake—?”
“I believe he’s fine at he moment, sir. It’s just a precautionary measure.” Despite his words, the lieutenant’s tone was anxious, though whether for Jake or his commanding officer, Beck didn’t know.
“I—.” Beck swung back to see the newly arrived Texans were looking at him with confusion and Gray and Davies with concern.
Then Gray nodded at him. “You should go, Major. I’m sure we can manage satisfactorily without you.”
Beck hesitated for a moment longer, until Davies also gave him a nod. Then he was on his feet with a hasty apology. As he made his way out of the tent, he heard Davies explaining, “Major Beck has developed some, ah, close ties with some of the townspeople….”
The news that Jake was going under the knife had apparently already spread through the detachment providing security at the talks. Half a dozen soldiers offered salutes and some variation of “Good luck, sir” and “I hope everything goes well, sir” on his way to the humvee, though Beck was too distracted to do more than nod in reply. He wanted Jake to be fine, and Kenchy was undoubtedly doing the right thing by moving up the cesarean, but he also wanted the baby to be fine. He wanted to be able to hold his child in his arms….
He was too choked up at the thought of what he might be about to lose to be able to give the order to his driver as he climbed into the humvee, so it was just as well the corporal seemed to understand the situation, putting the vehicle into gear and moving off as soon as Beck had slammed the door shut.
It still seemed like an eternity later, though it could only have been twenty minutes, before Beck was striding into the Medical Center. Even as he approached the reception desk, a nurse wordlessly pointed down the corridor. At the far end, Eric and Gail were hovering outside a treatment room that had been turned into an operating theater. Beck headed toward them, trying to suppress the fear clawing at his insides.
Eric hurried to meet him. “Jake had a dizzy spell and his blood pressure dropped, so Kenchy—.”
Beck nodded. His fear must have been evident in his face, because Eric gripped his arm and added, “It’ll be okay. Kenchy’s a good surgeon.”
“I know.” Beck could barely get the words out. He knew Kenchy was good. But the doctor was dealing with something no one had ever faced before. With a nod at Gail, Beck took up station outside the door alongside the two Greens.
After ten minutes, he began to pace.
Jake rose slowly into wakefulness, aware of people talking quietly nearby and the soft hum of machinery. Sluggishly, he forced open his eyes. “What…?”
“Hi, honey.” His mom’s face loomed into view as she leaned over him.. She brushed his bangs back from his forehead. “How are you feeling?”
Jake blinked at her, memory returning. “A bit woozy. How did…?”
He tried to sit up further but a hand on his shoulder pressed him back. “Just take it easy.” Kenchy, on the other side of the bed, went on looking at a monitor that, Jake supposed, showed his vitals, before he turned and gave Jake a nod. “Everything went well, but you’re going to need to take it slow and get lots of rest, okay?”
Jake nodded. He stopped trying to sit up and instead turned his head. “Where…?”
His mom took a pace back as, from beyond her, Beck said quietly, “She’s here.” His voice was filled with pride and happiness—and love. He stepped up to the bed and carefully transferred the bundle he’d been cradling against his shoulder into Jake’s hands.
Resting the bundle against his chest, Jake looked down at his daughter. She looked back up at him for a few seconds, before her unfocused gaze wandered away. She had dark hair and dark eyes and was rather red faced. “She’s beautiful,” he whispered.
“Yes, she is.” Beck reached out a finger and touched her cheek lightly.
“She’ll be due another feed in ten minutes or so.” Kenchy spoke briskly as he made sure the heart monitor on Jake’s finger was still in place. “Would you like to be the one to give her the bottle? If you feel up to it.”
“Please.” Jake couldn’t take his eyes off his daughter. She looked so small and yet felt so solid, so incredibly real, in a way she just hadn’t when she’d been inside him. He dragged his gaze away from her for a moment to look up at Beck. “If you don’t…?”
The other man shook his head. “I did the last feed. Your mom did the first one. So it’s definitely your turn.” He smiled at Jake, a real smile, without any of his usual reserve. Jake grinned back, before he turned back to looking at the baby.
“I’ll go get the bottle ready.” His mom bustled out of the room. A moment later, Kenchy followed.
The room grew quiet again. The baby yawned and then hiccuped. Jake went on staring down at her, feeling a rush of pride and love and protectiveness. He’d thought he’d understood that being a father meant things were different, but he hadn’t really, not until now. He hadn’t understood that his world had a new center. That he was going to make sure his daughter had everything she needed and that she’d grow up free and unafraid, and that she’d be able to be whoever and whatever she wanted to be. That nothing would ever hurt her, no matter what the world threw at them.
Beck cleared his throat. “I was thinking….”
Jake glanced up at him, pulled from his silent worship of his daughter. When Beck paused, he raised an eyebrow, inviting him to go on.
“…maybe we could call her Victoria?” Beck finished. He looked a little embarrassed, though whether by the suggestion itself or by his presumption in making it, Jake didn’t know.
“Victoria?” Jake tested the name on his tongue as he looked down at the baby. They hadn’t talked about names before. It had felt too much like tempting fate. Yes, he decided: she could be a Victoria. He nodded. “It’s a good name.”
“You see, it’s just,” Beck cleared his throat again, “the Texans arrived today, and Jericho’s officially free again, and after everything that Cheyenne did to us… to you….”
Jake’s mouth curled up in a crooked smile. “So she’s our little victory?” he teased gently, reaching out and letting the baby—Victoria—grab his finger.
“Something like that.” Another glance up showed Jake that Beck was definitely blushing now. “Anyway, things will be getting back to normal now….”
Jake, shifting Victoria so she was settled more comfortably in the crook of one arm, let out a laugh. “Not quite.” He indicated the baby with his newly free hand. “But I’m not complaining.”
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I hope you are planning on writing more in this story line. I can’t wait to read how Beck and Jake manage to raise a child. What happens when Back is ordered to move on to a new location? What will Jake do? Will the outsiders accept Beck’s new family like his troops have?
I am looking forward to the next chapter of this story!
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Those are all excellent questions about what happens next and ones I've wondered about myself. :-) I'm not sure when I'll write a sequel to this story, as I have other plotbunnies demanding my attention at the moment, but it's definitely something I can see myself revisiting one day.